walkie talkie

i have to relocate my cats(cinco and mr. wiggles)for a short period of time so the raccoons cant hurt them. i get them from the farm and drive them(in the big brown van)to an apartment complex my father owns(which he rents out to three of my bandmates). in the process of packing up the cats i get my clothes torn off of my body by a coon--so i wrap a bedsheet around myself and secure it with a clothespin.

i arrive at the complex and walk through the halls, trying to remember where the rhythm section of my band lives. i hear some loud music from behind a door at the end of the hall and i've found it. i walk in and it's very different from what i remember. two large rooms with frilly pink curtains and cosmopolitans(the drink and the magazine) on the tables. i still hear the drums and bass and ? from the back bedroom so i go to investigate. ben and nathan and dan are hunched over laptop computers--hitting the keys to the beat theyre jamming on--i stand and listen for awhile until they notice me. ben shakes my hand and asks me where my clothes are. i sit and tell them about the cats and ask if theyd be willing to have some feline company until i can figure out a way to get rid of the coons. at this point--everyone is sitting(evenly spaced)at a large round table--drinking and reading cosmopolitans--talking about how the cats would ruin the lovely frilly pink curtains. we decide that it would be best for my mother to take them since she lives in town--just a few blocks away. i spill my drink on the floor and the glass melts into the floor (t1000 style) as i get up to leave--dan stops me and gives me something that looks like a walkie talkie(he claims he found it in a dumpster and it gets the internet--but only the members section of an obscure swedish site) so i take it--say goodbye--and hop in the van to see if my mother will keep the cats safe.

my mother is having coffee with her old girlfriends and tells me that i can keep the cats in the basement until i can solve the coon problem. i get a glass of water and flip on the television to relax a little and center myself. i decide to check out the walkie talkie that dan gave me. i cue up a clip but instead of the it playing on the screen--a person appears on the couch next to me. she takes my hands and puts them on her tits. one of them feels nice--the other feels like a popped balloon. i comment on this and she asks me what she should do about it. i stare blankly into space and then push some buttons on the walkie--she disappears. i decide i should set up the cats now. i get their carriers and food and litter from the van. i get them set up and go upstairs to say goodbye to mom and her friends. she says that the cats should be downstairs. i say they are. she says that she just saw cinco run past. i check the basement and there are two different cats there(no cinco or wiggles)and go looking for them. they are at the top of the stairs and i shoo them down and close the door and leave. as im driving out of town i have to stop for a train. it is going very fast and i see some people jump out of the boxcars. i stop back at the pink apartment to tell dan about his magic walkie talkie.

as i am closing the van door a man in a black cloak attacks me(the same that just jumped from the train) and i fight with him. there are more after me as i run inside to hide. i get into the apartment and ben, dan, and nathan are nowhere to be found. bobby deniro is sitting at the round table and he wants to talk with me about the swedish spy ive been seen with-as he is talking about 20 of the cloaked figures trickle into the apartment and surround the table. bobby says i have to come with him for further questioning. flash forward to me walking up several flights of concrete stairs. i am now in a holding cell in a very tall building. i am sitting on the floor--trying to figure out a way to escape.


i still have the walkie talkie in my pocket and i push the button and make her appear. we make a plan to escape--i will press the button and then slide the walkie under the door--then she will materialize and unlock the door for me. execute plan. i am running down the stairs and a cloakie spots me and we start to fight. i rip his hood off and it is my brother. he says that bobby deniro is threatening to kill all the cloaked people if they dont help him neutralize the swedish threat--and thats why they work for him. we form a plan and go talk to bobby.

his office is two floors below ground--i have stolen a small handgun--a rocket launcher--and a cloak to disguise myself with from the locker room on the first subfloor(my brother showed me this).i make my way past security and i open bobbys door and he motions for me to sit down. i act like im going to and hit the button on the walkie--she appears and he looks at her--while his head is turned i shoot him. then i run like hell to get back to the van so i can go home and all of this can be over. i am jumping/running between the floor and ceiling(matrix style) to avoid cloakies on the way out and i make it out the front door--i look around and im only a couple blocks from the apartment where the van is parked. i get to the first intersection and there is a fucking tank with its turret moving to target me. i shoot it with the rocket launcher and backtrack to try and lose some cloakies who have found me. i am running and shooting when i make it to the van--theres another tank--but i dont have any more rockets--so i climb on top and throw open the hatch and shoot the tank operator--get back in the van and my entire family--mother--father--brother--is sitting in there. they are wearing military uniforms and congratulate me on the wonderful job i have done--what with killing bobby deniro and all. they say i will have a parade in my honor tomorrow. i remember smiling in my dream. wake up.