Sunday, June 3, 2007
melting water melting faces
There is a trailer park in a desert—the trailers have great spaces between them—several miles or more—I am in one of them with an old guitar player—he brings out something that looks like rock candy on a string—he gives me one and tells me to breathe it in—I follow his example and feel goofy—now there are about 30 people in this desert trailer—all of them inhaling this candy—all looking stupid
A flash of light outside and a panic hits—gotta go now—out the swinging door and…
Walking home through a hanging garden—my school mates are there—spread out among the plants—admiring—a waterfall runs neatly underneath the plexiglass flooring—I walk through a few similar buildings like this and reach the hotel that I’m staying in—up a flight of stairs and into the room
I have plenty of downtime so I decide to order room service—vodka—a few moments pass—I examine the room—it has no distinguishing characteristics-- it looks like every other hotel room i've ever been in—the waiter knocks and I tip well—time flashes forward and the room is now a swimming pool of vodka—a crowd of people are swimming and playing with oversized beach balls—I exit out of the window and shimmy down the side of the building—entering through the side door
Into the hotel restaurant—there are no seats here—no tables—I wander through the kitchen and into the cold locker for some peace. A woman throws the door open—wailing about how the exits are mysteriously melding shut—a door appears in the back of the locker—now the population of the hotel is following me—we go through several doors that appear—I have no idea where we are or where we are going—I can only hear screams
I wake up and see the word DESPAIR on my pillow in white letters
In a shopping mall at closing time—I am homeless so a shop owner lets me stay the night in his shop—I get the feeling that I am breaking everything I come within a few feet of—this guy is losing lots of merchandise to my destructive ghost—he kicks me out
Now all of the area is black as pitch—save for one small twinkling light—it is a candle in an ice cream store—I knock on the gate and hear the owner stir—he is at the gate in nightclothes saying he lives above his shop—I can stay in the shop for one night—he recites a riddle and goes back to bed—I walk up the inclined floor to the cashier’s counter—sorting through some thoughts—there is a melted bowl of ice cream on a table and two exits behind the counter—one on either side—the riddle has something to do with choosing the correct side—I go left—
An ancient looking room with some modern conveniences—a refrigerator—some bedding—and a great window going the length of the room—with a stunning view of tree branches—I think that I must have chosen the wrong answer.
Going back to the cashier’s counter—the melted bowl of ice cream is now fresh—I startle when I see this—now back on the right exit
There are some animal and water sounds—no light—I backtrack.
The ice cream is melted—I try to go back into the door on the left—it is locked—I sit the night out at a table—in the morning, the shop owner comes down the stairs, smiles, and says
"mirrors"
I wake up and see the word DESPAIR on my pillow in white letters
A flash of light outside and a panic hits—gotta go now—out the swinging door and…
Walking home through a hanging garden—my school mates are there—spread out among the plants—admiring—a waterfall runs neatly underneath the plexiglass flooring—I walk through a few similar buildings like this and reach the hotel that I’m staying in—up a flight of stairs and into the room
I have plenty of downtime so I decide to order room service—vodka—a few moments pass—I examine the room—it has no distinguishing characteristics-- it looks like every other hotel room i've ever been in—the waiter knocks and I tip well—time flashes forward and the room is now a swimming pool of vodka—a crowd of people are swimming and playing with oversized beach balls—I exit out of the window and shimmy down the side of the building—entering through the side door
Into the hotel restaurant—there are no seats here—no tables—I wander through the kitchen and into the cold locker for some peace. A woman throws the door open—wailing about how the exits are mysteriously melding shut—a door appears in the back of the locker—now the population of the hotel is following me—we go through several doors that appear—I have no idea where we are or where we are going—I can only hear screams
I wake up and see the word DESPAIR on my pillow in white letters
In a shopping mall at closing time—I am homeless so a shop owner lets me stay the night in his shop—I get the feeling that I am breaking everything I come within a few feet of—this guy is losing lots of merchandise to my destructive ghost—he kicks me out
Now all of the area is black as pitch—save for one small twinkling light—it is a candle in an ice cream store—I knock on the gate and hear the owner stir—he is at the gate in nightclothes saying he lives above his shop—I can stay in the shop for one night—he recites a riddle and goes back to bed—I walk up the inclined floor to the cashier’s counter—sorting through some thoughts—there is a melted bowl of ice cream on a table and two exits behind the counter—one on either side—the riddle has something to do with choosing the correct side—I go left—
An ancient looking room with some modern conveniences—a refrigerator—some bedding—and a great window going the length of the room—with a stunning view of tree branches—I think that I must have chosen the wrong answer.
Going back to the cashier’s counter—the melted bowl of ice cream is now fresh—I startle when I see this—now back on the right exit
There are some animal and water sounds—no light—I backtrack.
The ice cream is melted—I try to go back into the door on the left—it is locked—I sit the night out at a table—in the morning, the shop owner comes down the stairs, smiles, and says
"mirrors"
I wake up and see the word DESPAIR on my pillow in white letters
Thursday, May 31, 2007
shark pd
waking up on the floor in a room with no furniture--i walk into the next room--no furniture--outside, the yard seems to be extraordinary--green grass, gravel walkways, and healthy trees for great distances--the sun filters down to the ground in a reassuring way--i don't have anything to do, nor do i feel the need to do anything--so i sit under one of the trees.
a car drives through the yard and parks--i am far enough away from the house that i feel that the driver will not notice me--a blonde woman hurries through the door in a haphazard way--i am nervous--she exits just as abruptly as she arrived--i wait a few minutes and then cautiously re-enter the house--i'm not sure what i'll find, why i'm looking, or why it seems very dangerous to do what i'm doing.
tip-toeing on the carpet--nothing seems to have changed--wait--i find an undiscovered room with a desk and a computer--my heart jumps at the slamming of a car door--like a child, i hide under the desk.
the woman is crying and pacing--she mutters to herself--then she talks to me--i feel semisafe but keep words to a minimum--she invites me to go on a car ride with her and i accept--we walk out the door and are almost to the car when she pauses like something was forgotten--back inside she leads me to a radiator and motions to it--i don't understand--she gives me a look of exasperation and digs some white powder out from underneath--she scoops it into a napkin and gives it to me.
at this exact moment--the door is kicked open and several men are yelling--in the second that i had my attention diverted--the woman disappeared like a specter--i hide under the desk and really hope these screaming brutes are as dumb as they sound--they aren't.
a bald man with a thick moustache kicks me and shoves a gun against my skull--he lets me know that my 'mission' has been canceled by a higher ranking officer--i hand him the napkin and he seems to lighten up--he even half-smiles and offers brief encouragement--i tell him that there is a computer that i need to confiscate--he nods and i tuck it under my arm while demanding his car keys--i seem to be in a sudden position of power--these men were sent simply to inform me.
elsewhere, i am sitting on a couch--watching this scene play out as the introduction to a televised police drama--the intro credits roll--my name is placed last--as a special guest star.
continuation at the point of the entrance--now i see the men methodically surrounded the house--a horrific burst of shouting and gun pointing follows--i am found--cut to me in a helicopter over a city--the voice-over tells of an impending terrorist attack--nobody knows where, when, or how--but it is my job to secure this city. i tell the aircraft to stop at a beach on the edge of town--cliche cop intuition guides me--an image of a shark jumping out of the water plays in slow motion.
i am driving a squad car as fast as it will go--i am on unfamiliar roads but i know exactly where i'm going--the scenery shifts from a sparse beach to an urban sprawl--buildings assault the skyline--i jump out of the car with the notebook computer tucked neatly under an arm--i stand in a moment of glory as the car explodes against a building--another slow motion shot of me walking while the explosion happens in the background.
a shot of me booting the laptop--hurriedly typing--some web pages in the history are displayed--i find some emails detailing a meetup that is happening today--the day of the impending attack--heroic music plays--more pointless slow motion.
i squeal the brakes of an unmarked government car in front a brick building with broken windows--walking past some men while a radio blares--short cut of some guys doing wildstyle graffiti--inside there is one large room with some cameras trained on two human exaggerations having sex--a man sitting in a chair yells--nothing happens--i give him the napkin full of white powder and he gives me a piece of paper.
back in the helicopter--no land in sight--close up shot of a dozen sharks jumping out of the water--a feeling of completion
wake up
a car drives through the yard and parks--i am far enough away from the house that i feel that the driver will not notice me--a blonde woman hurries through the door in a haphazard way--i am nervous--she exits just as abruptly as she arrived--i wait a few minutes and then cautiously re-enter the house--i'm not sure what i'll find, why i'm looking, or why it seems very dangerous to do what i'm doing.
tip-toeing on the carpet--nothing seems to have changed--wait--i find an undiscovered room with a desk and a computer--my heart jumps at the slamming of a car door--like a child, i hide under the desk.
the woman is crying and pacing--she mutters to herself--then she talks to me--i feel semisafe but keep words to a minimum--she invites me to go on a car ride with her and i accept--we walk out the door and are almost to the car when she pauses like something was forgotten--back inside she leads me to a radiator and motions to it--i don't understand--she gives me a look of exasperation and digs some white powder out from underneath--she scoops it into a napkin and gives it to me.
at this exact moment--the door is kicked open and several men are yelling--in the second that i had my attention diverted--the woman disappeared like a specter--i hide under the desk and really hope these screaming brutes are as dumb as they sound--they aren't.
a bald man with a thick moustache kicks me and shoves a gun against my skull--he lets me know that my 'mission' has been canceled by a higher ranking officer--i hand him the napkin and he seems to lighten up--he even half-smiles and offers brief encouragement--i tell him that there is a computer that i need to confiscate--he nods and i tuck it under my arm while demanding his car keys--i seem to be in a sudden position of power--these men were sent simply to inform me.
elsewhere, i am sitting on a couch--watching this scene play out as the introduction to a televised police drama--the intro credits roll--my name is placed last--as a special guest star.
continuation at the point of the entrance--now i see the men methodically surrounded the house--a horrific burst of shouting and gun pointing follows--i am found--cut to me in a helicopter over a city--the voice-over tells of an impending terrorist attack--nobody knows where, when, or how--but it is my job to secure this city. i tell the aircraft to stop at a beach on the edge of town--cliche cop intuition guides me--an image of a shark jumping out of the water plays in slow motion.
i am driving a squad car as fast as it will go--i am on unfamiliar roads but i know exactly where i'm going--the scenery shifts from a sparse beach to an urban sprawl--buildings assault the skyline--i jump out of the car with the notebook computer tucked neatly under an arm--i stand in a moment of glory as the car explodes against a building--another slow motion shot of me walking while the explosion happens in the background.
a shot of me booting the laptop--hurriedly typing--some web pages in the history are displayed--i find some emails detailing a meetup that is happening today--the day of the impending attack--heroic music plays--more pointless slow motion.
i squeal the brakes of an unmarked government car in front a brick building with broken windows--walking past some men while a radio blares--short cut of some guys doing wildstyle graffiti--inside there is one large room with some cameras trained on two human exaggerations having sex--a man sitting in a chair yells--nothing happens--i give him the napkin full of white powder and he gives me a piece of paper.
back in the helicopter--no land in sight--close up shot of a dozen sharks jumping out of the water--a feeling of completion
wake up
Monday, May 28, 2007
clumsy
there is some kind of competition taking place in a water park--i am walking across some small green hills to try to see better--the tree cover is oddly soothing--a man shoots out of a water slide and knocks me over--he apologizes and runs away.
after a bit of thinking--i know i am in an altered version of a park in which i spent most of my childhood years HILLCREST
there are ferns nudging their way onto bark covered walking paths--the trees seem to be healthier--there is a water complex with slides and an enormous swimming pool--a starter's pistol is heard at regular intervals--there is a two story brick building where the tennis courts used to be--i enter.
it is a kind of souvenir shop that carries school supplies and nonperishable groceries--walking along an aisle--i spot some paints i want--check pockets, no money--i decide to steal them--i am wearing baggy swim trunks with confusing zippered pockets, so every time i see a color i like--zip zip--i start to get nervous because i am dropping things and seeming to take lots of time in getting the right colors--i try to maintain an air of innocence--exiting the art supplies aisle-i see a screening room for some kind of educational video--all of the seats are taken and when i try to watch it standing up-an attendant escorts me out.
i am sweating as i walk toward the doors. my pockets are awkwardly bulging and it's painfully obvious that i'm a thief. one step from the door and a clerk yells/points. i naturally assume that i have been caught and start running(chase scene music starts playing in my head--something like the mission impossible theme)--at the exact moment i exit-there is a pack of runners going past the shop--i fall in and hope i chose effective camouflage.
after a few glances and just as many minutes--i know the yelling in the shop didn't concern me--i sit on a park bench and admire the paints--a familiar woman sits next to me and asks a series of inane questions--her body language tells me she is attracted to me--i invite her into the water park--thinking i could fuck her in the locker room--we walk slowly--i recognize this woman--i have known her at some point in my life--it is mind grating.
at the park entrance-we meet no resistance and she instinctively follows me into the men's lockers--i find a vacant corner and we sit on a bench--the removal of clothes is automatic--so is insertion/intercourse--i am not paying attention and i have finished--the entire time i was trying to place her identity in my personal history.
after i wake up i realize the girl in my dream is the girl i live with now-with slightly altered features
after a bit of thinking--i know i am in an altered version of a park in which i spent most of my childhood years HILLCREST
there are ferns nudging their way onto bark covered walking paths--the trees seem to be healthier--there is a water complex with slides and an enormous swimming pool--a starter's pistol is heard at regular intervals--there is a two story brick building where the tennis courts used to be--i enter.
it is a kind of souvenir shop that carries school supplies and nonperishable groceries--walking along an aisle--i spot some paints i want--check pockets, no money--i decide to steal them--i am wearing baggy swim trunks with confusing zippered pockets, so every time i see a color i like--zip zip--i start to get nervous because i am dropping things and seeming to take lots of time in getting the right colors--i try to maintain an air of innocence--exiting the art supplies aisle-i see a screening room for some kind of educational video--all of the seats are taken and when i try to watch it standing up-an attendant escorts me out.
i am sweating as i walk toward the doors. my pockets are awkwardly bulging and it's painfully obvious that i'm a thief. one step from the door and a clerk yells/points. i naturally assume that i have been caught and start running(chase scene music starts playing in my head--something like the mission impossible theme)--at the exact moment i exit-there is a pack of runners going past the shop--i fall in and hope i chose effective camouflage.
after a few glances and just as many minutes--i know the yelling in the shop didn't concern me--i sit on a park bench and admire the paints--a familiar woman sits next to me and asks a series of inane questions--her body language tells me she is attracted to me--i invite her into the water park--thinking i could fuck her in the locker room--we walk slowly--i recognize this woman--i have known her at some point in my life--it is mind grating.
at the park entrance-we meet no resistance and she instinctively follows me into the men's lockers--i find a vacant corner and we sit on a bench--the removal of clothes is automatic--so is insertion/intercourse--i am not paying attention and i have finished--the entire time i was trying to place her identity in my personal history.
after i wake up i realize the girl in my dream is the girl i live with now-with slightly altered features
Friday, May 25, 2007
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
i will 'gin
walking in a large warehouse that is holding some kind of convention--i enter a room with a very high ceiling and some shelves with media collections on them--there is a man browsing through the products--he makes a comment about the low price of a certain set--i tell him about a better deal on a less conspicuous shelf--he thanks me. i continue looking and nature calls.
i find a bathroom that is more like a wide open locker room with some troughs by the walls and divider walls concealing some dirty drains--i look around for awhile until i find a space that is less filthy than most--i do my business. back out in the warehouse i meet some people who are buying movies--they invite me to a party and we leave together.
the party is at a modest suburban home with some nice features--a stone kitchen with a full bar--very comfortable carpet in the great room--i pour a drink and immediately see my parents laughing while slugging back some mysterious black liquid(i didn't see that at the bar) i wonder what they're drinking--the people buying movies say that there is another party at a nearby lake--the car is leaving now if i want to go--i accept and keep trying to figure out what my parents were drinking--the car doesn't have a roof--i comment on this as i get in and the other people look at me like i'm out of my head.
the ride takes a very long time because the driver gets lost--it seems like no one knows where we are going--we arrive at a line of houses on a hill--approaching a two story that seems deserted--i see an big elevated deck with lots of drinkers--the stairs are awkward to climb--i get to the top and see a man in wraparound sunglasses and get the feeling that he is in charge here--he gives me a nod--i pour keg beer into a solo cup--the people who brought me here approach me and ask if i want to go swimming--at the same time i want to and i don't--i give a vague answer while climbing back down the stairs--standing on a hillside between the house and the deck, i look out at the lake--the sun plays a reflection on the water that is beautifully frightening--i hesitate while a handful of potential swimmers undress--they run screaming into the lake--i enter the house through a sliding glass door. i feel very safe for a moment until i realize that this is the same house i was in earlier--i have been here before--i make my way from the basement to the ground floor to try to find the black liquid i saw my parents drinking earlier--the bar now only contains a gigantic bottle of gin(like the joke bottles half as big as a person at liquor stores)--i struggle trying to pour with the giant bottle and finally get a splash out that goes half on the floor-half in my cup--this is good enough for me.
i find a staircase and figure that i will definately be alone up there. there is a leather couch with a remote control on the arm-- situated directly in front of a television--i breathe deeply and sit and click the remote--an image of a dancing girl appears on the screen--i watch for a moment and think that her surroundings look familiar--the background of the image is the same as the space behind the couch in this room--i twist my neck around and see the girl--she stops dancing and tells me that her child needs medical attention--she is very intoxicated and slurs her speech--i propose that i can supervise transportation for the child--the girl wildly thanks me and throws her arms around my neck--this makes me intensely uncomfortable but i smile politely and ask her where the child is--she points to the corner of the room at a miniature person that appears to be very old--as i get closer i know that the being is simply a child with very wrinkled skin--i say some comforting words and the mother offered mild encouragement for the kid to follow me--i set the untouched gin on the floor and leave.
the house was the same one that i was in earlier(one house in two locations)--we exit at the ground floor to a pleasant suburban street--the sun is setting now and this is my only concern--i don't really know where i'm going but i have a strong sense that when i see it-i will know. i hold the child's hand and walk slowly downhill. the child has trouble breathing and collapses after a dozen steps--now i am carrying it in my arms--scanning the horizon wildly to determine the destination--i close my eyes and see the man with sunglasses in a nearby yard--i start in that direction--the light is waning and it is incredibly difficult to see where i am going--i trust in my vision and cut through a backyard--over a chain link fence--and mr. black glasses takes the child from me--bowing and scraping.
it is pitch black now as i try to make my way back to that house--i backtrack and walk down an unfamiliar street--i see the same house in a different location--i am sure of it--i walk around back to make sure--yes, there is the elevated deck, the lake, the sliding glass door--i enter and the house is dark--i flip some lights on and navigate to the bar--it is completely empty--no people--no booze--no light.
wake up.
i find a bathroom that is more like a wide open locker room with some troughs by the walls and divider walls concealing some dirty drains--i look around for awhile until i find a space that is less filthy than most--i do my business. back out in the warehouse i meet some people who are buying movies--they invite me to a party and we leave together.
the party is at a modest suburban home with some nice features--a stone kitchen with a full bar--very comfortable carpet in the great room--i pour a drink and immediately see my parents laughing while slugging back some mysterious black liquid(i didn't see that at the bar) i wonder what they're drinking--the people buying movies say that there is another party at a nearby lake--the car is leaving now if i want to go--i accept and keep trying to figure out what my parents were drinking--the car doesn't have a roof--i comment on this as i get in and the other people look at me like i'm out of my head.
the ride takes a very long time because the driver gets lost--it seems like no one knows where we are going--we arrive at a line of houses on a hill--approaching a two story that seems deserted--i see an big elevated deck with lots of drinkers--the stairs are awkward to climb--i get to the top and see a man in wraparound sunglasses and get the feeling that he is in charge here--he gives me a nod--i pour keg beer into a solo cup--the people who brought me here approach me and ask if i want to go swimming--at the same time i want to and i don't--i give a vague answer while climbing back down the stairs--standing on a hillside between the house and the deck, i look out at the lake--the sun plays a reflection on the water that is beautifully frightening--i hesitate while a handful of potential swimmers undress--they run screaming into the lake--i enter the house through a sliding glass door. i feel very safe for a moment until i realize that this is the same house i was in earlier--i have been here before--i make my way from the basement to the ground floor to try to find the black liquid i saw my parents drinking earlier--the bar now only contains a gigantic bottle of gin(like the joke bottles half as big as a person at liquor stores)--i struggle trying to pour with the giant bottle and finally get a splash out that goes half on the floor-half in my cup--this is good enough for me.
i find a staircase and figure that i will definately be alone up there. there is a leather couch with a remote control on the arm-- situated directly in front of a television--i breathe deeply and sit and click the remote--an image of a dancing girl appears on the screen--i watch for a moment and think that her surroundings look familiar--the background of the image is the same as the space behind the couch in this room--i twist my neck around and see the girl--she stops dancing and tells me that her child needs medical attention--she is very intoxicated and slurs her speech--i propose that i can supervise transportation for the child--the girl wildly thanks me and throws her arms around my neck--this makes me intensely uncomfortable but i smile politely and ask her where the child is--she points to the corner of the room at a miniature person that appears to be very old--as i get closer i know that the being is simply a child with very wrinkled skin--i say some comforting words and the mother offered mild encouragement for the kid to follow me--i set the untouched gin on the floor and leave.
the house was the same one that i was in earlier(one house in two locations)--we exit at the ground floor to a pleasant suburban street--the sun is setting now and this is my only concern--i don't really know where i'm going but i have a strong sense that when i see it-i will know. i hold the child's hand and walk slowly downhill. the child has trouble breathing and collapses after a dozen steps--now i am carrying it in my arms--scanning the horizon wildly to determine the destination--i close my eyes and see the man with sunglasses in a nearby yard--i start in that direction--the light is waning and it is incredibly difficult to see where i am going--i trust in my vision and cut through a backyard--over a chain link fence--and mr. black glasses takes the child from me--bowing and scraping.
it is pitch black now as i try to make my way back to that house--i backtrack and walk down an unfamiliar street--i see the same house in a different location--i am sure of it--i walk around back to make sure--yes, there is the elevated deck, the lake, the sliding glass door--i enter and the house is dark--i flip some lights on and navigate to the bar--it is completely empty--no people--no booze--no light.
wake up.
Monday, May 14, 2007
pray for a star
i am sitting in the back of the church i attended as a child. there is a lull and the pastor shuffles through some papers--getting ready for the sermon-i am intensely uncomfortable and i realize it's because the chairs are all full of people--the pastor clears his throat and picks up an acoustic guitar--he plays a few open chords and gives a small introduction--the congregation claps lightly and bill murray appears alongside the pastor(both have acoustic guitars)--they tell a few bad jokes while tuning and break into some popular cover songs--making many mistakes(bill murray's guitar is distorted--i comment to a neighbor about how it is surprising that there is no feedback--given the amount of distortion--he replies with a wrinkled face)
i start to panic and i stand up to exit through the side door-i know why i was so uncomfortable--i was wearing newspaper(not clothing)--i fumble with the paper, trying not to expose myself in church. the dining hall is empty, save for the noise of a few coffee machines working overtime. i have a great urge to move, i don't know where i'm going, why, or how i'll get there--but i know i have to move and it has to be now.
in the parking lot i meet a girl that i knew a long time ago--she tells me we have to visit a sick friend. there is a cutscene, and we are in a depressing field with an overgrown lawn and some very small houses. i am not sure how we got there or what vehicle we traveled in--the girl warns me about the sickness and how it is going to make me not recognize this sick friend i know very well. we walk to a house that is barely big enough for a double bed--it is on stilts and there are lopsided stairs that we both struggle with--knocking on the top half of a dutch door--it is opened by a coughing woman--i see that the house is big enough for a double bed--that occupies the entire floor--there are a few blankets and two television sets--one set to daytime drama(in color)--and the second smaller television(with bunny ears) on snow(black and white)--the woman doesn't seem to want company--she makes a rude remark and opens the top half of another dutch door directly opposite the one we are standing by--there is a larger television that is mostly obscured by the door--it was set to a test pattern with very loud static. the girl and i look at each other while the sick woman glares at us--this is a cue for us to leave.
a new scene consisting of a very narrow street with many doors. there is a marquee above every door that says what is planned for the immediate future behind that particular door. the girl points to one that says something to the effect of "lapdance"--and motions to me. i blush and am immobilized by fear. the street is completely empty-i get the feeling that it has been a long time since a person has been in the place we are now--the girl disappears behind the door while i turn around and see a miniature car(this must've been our transportation--i get the feeling that i own this car) the street is too narrow for the car and it scrapes against the doors. i stop in front of the door that the girl went into(she appears immediately--saying that there wasn't anyone in the building) we drive for what seems like a very long time with the car scraping against the streetwalls. the noise is unbearable and suddenly we are in a meadow on the edge of a forest.
the girl is talking to me. i can hear words but cannot make out what they are or what they mean. i get the feeling that the words aren't important and are merely formal. i know exactly what she is trying to communicate without understanding her speech. i feel very calm. i speak but i can't understand the syllables or sounds that i am making--it doesn't matter--she comprehends the thought i am trying to express. i get the feeling that someone is near--someone who is destructive and murderous--i tell the girl but she already knows--i grab her arm and we run into the trees. together we alternate running and hiding--now we don't go through the formality of simulating speech--i know her thoughts--she knows mine.
i see through the eyes of the murderer--his breath is irregular--he is deformed in a way i can feel but not see. there is a kind of fog that comes from the ground--it is like a bad horror movie--a nameless demon hunting nameless people.
wake up.
i start to panic and i stand up to exit through the side door-i know why i was so uncomfortable--i was wearing newspaper(not clothing)--i fumble with the paper, trying not to expose myself in church. the dining hall is empty, save for the noise of a few coffee machines working overtime. i have a great urge to move, i don't know where i'm going, why, or how i'll get there--but i know i have to move and it has to be now.
in the parking lot i meet a girl that i knew a long time ago--she tells me we have to visit a sick friend. there is a cutscene, and we are in a depressing field with an overgrown lawn and some very small houses. i am not sure how we got there or what vehicle we traveled in--the girl warns me about the sickness and how it is going to make me not recognize this sick friend i know very well. we walk to a house that is barely big enough for a double bed--it is on stilts and there are lopsided stairs that we both struggle with--knocking on the top half of a dutch door--it is opened by a coughing woman--i see that the house is big enough for a double bed--that occupies the entire floor--there are a few blankets and two television sets--one set to daytime drama(in color)--and the second smaller television(with bunny ears) on snow(black and white)--the woman doesn't seem to want company--she makes a rude remark and opens the top half of another dutch door directly opposite the one we are standing by--there is a larger television that is mostly obscured by the door--it was set to a test pattern with very loud static. the girl and i look at each other while the sick woman glares at us--this is a cue for us to leave.
a new scene consisting of a very narrow street with many doors. there is a marquee above every door that says what is planned for the immediate future behind that particular door. the girl points to one that says something to the effect of "lapdance"--and motions to me. i blush and am immobilized by fear. the street is completely empty-i get the feeling that it has been a long time since a person has been in the place we are now--the girl disappears behind the door while i turn around and see a miniature car(this must've been our transportation--i get the feeling that i own this car) the street is too narrow for the car and it scrapes against the doors. i stop in front of the door that the girl went into(she appears immediately--saying that there wasn't anyone in the building) we drive for what seems like a very long time with the car scraping against the streetwalls. the noise is unbearable and suddenly we are in a meadow on the edge of a forest.
the girl is talking to me. i can hear words but cannot make out what they are or what they mean. i get the feeling that the words aren't important and are merely formal. i know exactly what she is trying to communicate without understanding her speech. i feel very calm. i speak but i can't understand the syllables or sounds that i am making--it doesn't matter--she comprehends the thought i am trying to express. i get the feeling that someone is near--someone who is destructive and murderous--i tell the girl but she already knows--i grab her arm and we run into the trees. together we alternate running and hiding--now we don't go through the formality of simulating speech--i know her thoughts--she knows mine.
i see through the eyes of the murderer--his breath is irregular--he is deformed in a way i can feel but not see. there is a kind of fog that comes from the ground--it is like a bad horror movie--a nameless demon hunting nameless people.
wake up.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
walkie talkie
i have to relocate my cats(cinco and mr. wiggles)for a short period of time so the raccoons cant hurt them. i get them from the farm and drive them(in the big brown van)to an apartment complex my father owns(which he rents out to three of my bandmates). in the process of packing up the cats i get my clothes torn off of my body by a coon--so i wrap a bedsheet around myself and secure it with a clothespin.
i arrive at the complex and walk through the halls, trying to remember where the rhythm section of my band lives. i hear some loud music from behind a door at the end of the hall and i've found it. i walk in and it's very different from what i remember. two large rooms with frilly pink curtains and cosmopolitans(the drink and the magazine) on the tables. i still hear the drums and bass and ? from the back bedroom so i go to investigate. ben and nathan and dan are hunched over laptop computers--hitting the keys to the beat theyre jamming on--i stand and listen for awhile until they notice me. ben shakes my hand and asks me where my clothes are. i sit and tell them about the cats and ask if theyd be willing to have some feline company until i can figure out a way to get rid of the coons. at this point--everyone is sitting(evenly spaced)at a large round table--drinking and reading cosmopolitans--talking about how the cats would ruin the lovely frilly pink curtains. we decide that it would be best for my mother to take them since she lives in town--just a few blocks away. i spill my drink on the floor and the glass melts into the floor (t1000 style) as i get up to leave--dan stops me and gives me something that looks like a walkie talkie(he claims he found it in a dumpster and it gets the internet--but only the members section of an obscure swedish site) so i take it--say goodbye--and hop in the van to see if my mother will keep the cats safe.
my mother is having coffee with her old girlfriends and tells me that i can keep the cats in the basement until i can solve the coon problem. i get a glass of water and flip on the television to relax a little and center myself. i decide to check out the walkie talkie that dan gave me. i cue up a clip but instead of the it playing on the screen--a person appears on the couch next to me. she takes my hands and puts them on her tits. one of them feels nice--the other feels like a popped balloon. i comment on this and she asks me what she should do about it. i stare blankly into space and then push some buttons on the walkie--she disappears. i decide i should set up the cats now. i get their carriers and food and litter from the van. i get them set up and go upstairs to say goodbye to mom and her friends. she says that the cats should be downstairs. i say they are. she says that she just saw cinco run past. i check the basement and there are two different cats there(no cinco or wiggles)and go looking for them. they are at the top of the stairs and i shoo them down and close the door and leave. as im driving out of town i have to stop for a train. it is going very fast and i see some people jump out of the boxcars. i stop back at the pink apartment to tell dan about his magic walkie talkie.
as i am closing the van door a man in a black cloak attacks me(the same that just jumped from the train) and i fight with him. there are more after me as i run inside to hide. i get into the apartment and ben, dan, and nathan are nowhere to be found. bobby deniro is sitting at the round table and he wants to talk with me about the swedish spy ive been seen with-as he is talking about 20 of the cloaked figures trickle into the apartment and surround the table. bobby says i have to come with him for further questioning. flash forward to me walking up several flights of concrete stairs. i am now in a holding cell in a very tall building. i am sitting on the floor--trying to figure out a way to escape.
i still have the walkie talkie in my pocket and i push the button and make her appear. we make a plan to escape--i will press the button and then slide the walkie under the door--then she will materialize and unlock the door for me. execute plan. i am running down the stairs and a cloakie spots me and we start to fight. i rip his hood off and it is my brother. he says that bobby deniro is threatening to kill all the cloaked people if they dont help him neutralize the swedish threat--and thats why they work for him. we form a plan and go talk to bobby.
his office is two floors below ground--i have stolen a small handgun--a rocket launcher--and a cloak to disguise myself with from the locker room on the first subfloor(my brother showed me this).i make my way past security and i open bobbys door and he motions for me to sit down. i act like im going to and hit the button on the walkie--she appears and he looks at her--while his head is turned i shoot him. then i run like hell to get back to the van so i can go home and all of this can be over. i am jumping/running between the floor and ceiling(matrix style) to avoid cloakies on the way out and i make it out the front door--i look around and im only a couple blocks from the apartment where the van is parked. i get to the first intersection and there is a fucking tank with its turret moving to target me. i shoot it with the rocket launcher and backtrack to try and lose some cloakies who have found me. i am running and shooting when i make it to the van--theres another tank--but i dont have any more rockets--so i climb on top and throw open the hatch and shoot the tank operator--get back in the van and my entire family--mother--father--brother--is sitting in there. they are wearing military uniforms and congratulate me on the wonderful job i have done--what with killing bobby deniro and all. they say i will have a parade in my honor tomorrow. i remember smiling in my dream. wake up.
i arrive at the complex and walk through the halls, trying to remember where the rhythm section of my band lives. i hear some loud music from behind a door at the end of the hall and i've found it. i walk in and it's very different from what i remember. two large rooms with frilly pink curtains and cosmopolitans(the drink and the magazine) on the tables. i still hear the drums and bass and ? from the back bedroom so i go to investigate. ben and nathan and dan are hunched over laptop computers--hitting the keys to the beat theyre jamming on--i stand and listen for awhile until they notice me. ben shakes my hand and asks me where my clothes are. i sit and tell them about the cats and ask if theyd be willing to have some feline company until i can figure out a way to get rid of the coons. at this point--everyone is sitting(evenly spaced)at a large round table--drinking and reading cosmopolitans--talking about how the cats would ruin the lovely frilly pink curtains. we decide that it would be best for my mother to take them since she lives in town--just a few blocks away. i spill my drink on the floor and the glass melts into the floor (t1000 style) as i get up to leave--dan stops me and gives me something that looks like a walkie talkie(he claims he found it in a dumpster and it gets the internet--but only the members section of an obscure swedish site) so i take it--say goodbye--and hop in the van to see if my mother will keep the cats safe.
my mother is having coffee with her old girlfriends and tells me that i can keep the cats in the basement until i can solve the coon problem. i get a glass of water and flip on the television to relax a little and center myself. i decide to check out the walkie talkie that dan gave me. i cue up a clip but instead of the it playing on the screen--a person appears on the couch next to me. she takes my hands and puts them on her tits. one of them feels nice--the other feels like a popped balloon. i comment on this and she asks me what she should do about it. i stare blankly into space and then push some buttons on the walkie--she disappears. i decide i should set up the cats now. i get their carriers and food and litter from the van. i get them set up and go upstairs to say goodbye to mom and her friends. she says that the cats should be downstairs. i say they are. she says that she just saw cinco run past. i check the basement and there are two different cats there(no cinco or wiggles)and go looking for them. they are at the top of the stairs and i shoo them down and close the door and leave. as im driving out of town i have to stop for a train. it is going very fast and i see some people jump out of the boxcars. i stop back at the pink apartment to tell dan about his magic walkie talkie.
as i am closing the van door a man in a black cloak attacks me(the same that just jumped from the train) and i fight with him. there are more after me as i run inside to hide. i get into the apartment and ben, dan, and nathan are nowhere to be found. bobby deniro is sitting at the round table and he wants to talk with me about the swedish spy ive been seen with-as he is talking about 20 of the cloaked figures trickle into the apartment and surround the table. bobby says i have to come with him for further questioning. flash forward to me walking up several flights of concrete stairs. i am now in a holding cell in a very tall building. i am sitting on the floor--trying to figure out a way to escape.
i still have the walkie talkie in my pocket and i push the button and make her appear. we make a plan to escape--i will press the button and then slide the walkie under the door--then she will materialize and unlock the door for me. execute plan. i am running down the stairs and a cloakie spots me and we start to fight. i rip his hood off and it is my brother. he says that bobby deniro is threatening to kill all the cloaked people if they dont help him neutralize the swedish threat--and thats why they work for him. we form a plan and go talk to bobby.
his office is two floors below ground--i have stolen a small handgun--a rocket launcher--and a cloak to disguise myself with from the locker room on the first subfloor(my brother showed me this).i make my way past security and i open bobbys door and he motions for me to sit down. i act like im going to and hit the button on the walkie--she appears and he looks at her--while his head is turned i shoot him. then i run like hell to get back to the van so i can go home and all of this can be over. i am jumping/running between the floor and ceiling(matrix style) to avoid cloakies on the way out and i make it out the front door--i look around and im only a couple blocks from the apartment where the van is parked. i get to the first intersection and there is a fucking tank with its turret moving to target me. i shoot it with the rocket launcher and backtrack to try and lose some cloakies who have found me. i am running and shooting when i make it to the van--theres another tank--but i dont have any more rockets--so i climb on top and throw open the hatch and shoot the tank operator--get back in the van and my entire family--mother--father--brother--is sitting in there. they are wearing military uniforms and congratulate me on the wonderful job i have done--what with killing bobby deniro and all. they say i will have a parade in my honor tomorrow. i remember smiling in my dream. wake up.
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